An answer to prayer

August 9, 2011, I woke up feeling hopeful that God had blessed us with another child. A few hours into the day my hope was confirmed.  God willing, we will give birth once again. We are filled with joy and fear at the same time.

Jens arrives

August 19, 2011, sweet little Jens entered the world. Our adorable nephew has been showered by hugs and kisses ever since. I'm not sure he has ever been put down, with so many people waiting to hold him.

To Know You...

So, this song really spoke to me this week. I have been struggling lately. I look at pictures of Drew and I just ache to hold him one more time. We long to be blessed with another baby and it isn't happening. We don't understand why, but we are holding on to the one who does. I was running the other day when this song came on my ipod and it really lifted me up. To know you, is to ache for more than ordinary. To know you, is to look beyond the temporary....this is temporary. I can do this, because, it is all temporary. S

August 12, 2011. Eight months without you

     Eight months have passed since I gave birth to baby Drew. Sigh. No rolly-poly baby to watch crawling around. No giant belly laughs to melt my heart. No late night nursing while the rest of the house sleeps. No firsts to celebrate. No babbles to be heard. It's been a roller coaster. While I am very much still grieving, I can see God's hand at work in our lives, and for that I am thankful. I have met and shared life with so many great women because of our losses. Each of these special ladies I count as blessings. 
    Speaking of blessings...we had the opportunity to see Laura Story at Joyful Noise this year. Her song, Blessings, has really spoke to my heart this year. We have this idea of how our lives should go. We plan, scheme, and micromanage to keep things working our way. If all is going as we planned, we may even become a little prideful about having things all figured out. But what happens when your world falls apart? When tragedy strikes? Cancer, illness, death, poverty, divorce...they all happen in this life. What is even more maddening for control freaks like myself...we have NO control. We are not in charge. Yikes! But what if, the plans we have for ourselves are not the best plan for us in the whole scheme of things? Maybe, the pain we suffer and the bumpy roads we travel through are leading to our eternal destination. What would it profit a man to gain the whole world, but lose his soul? Mark 8:36. For me this means, I could have my perfect little life that I had designed here on earth, at the risk of never coming to a place of recognizing my need for Jesus, and never have the opportunity to spend eternity with him in heaven. Would I want to gain all that this world has to offer and not partake in the life to come? Never! Then why do we get so caught up in the here and now? Focusing on the temporary and the  unimportant. Often so much, that it distracts from our relationship with God and others. Let this song speak to your heart, Blessings.

August 9, 2011

     I was out of town at the Bereavement Training on our anniversary, so on August 10, we celebrated our 14th year wedding anniversary with a dinner at Paradise Landing. Crazy! I can't believe 14 years have flown by. I can truly say that I am more in love with you now than ever Aaron Chivers. Thank you for putting up with me for all of these years. xoxo

Resolve Through Sharing Bereavement Training

Our hospital is working to establish a bereavement program for infant loss. Shelly Potter and I attended a bereavement training conference presented by Gundersen Lutheran Hospital in La Crosse, WI. The training was helpful in providing us with policies and procedures to have in place, and ideas about how to best serve families in their grief. Practically, the conference was great. Emotionally, it was heart-wrenching. Many of those at the conference were medical professionals who wanted to know how to reach out and communicate with patients when their world falls apart through miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. Some of us, were also parents who have walked this treacherous path of carrying and then burying a child of our own. The story of baby Eliot, who was born with Trisomy 18 was particularly touching to me. The way God used this little child for his glory is truly amazing. So many people would have chosen to terminate a pregnancy if they were told that their child wouldn't live long after birth, or would be stillborn. Believing that not meeting that child at all would some how make it easier. This family viewed their child's life as a gift, no matter how short it was on earth. It is a beautiful story, and I hope you will take time to watch it.
     
     

VBS 2011

     July 31st through August 5th the kids attended VBS at our church. They loved getting on the little bus at the Fort Luck Park each evening. Rori and Stella went with this year, which made the whole experience more exciting. The first night, the kids came home and told me Bible verses that they had memorized. It made my heart sing, that we belong to a church where scripture is held in high regard, and hidden in the hearts of our little people. The week flew by and the kids continued to have a great time. Thursday night Owen came home and told me that he was concerned about his sin, and that he wanted Jesus in his heart. We had a nice discussion about sin and repentance and I sat with Owen as he prayed to receive Jesus as his Saviour. I struggled to hold back tears as I recognized the eternal consequences of the gentle little words spoken by a four-year-old child. I can't express what a privilege this moment was for me as a mother. When we were finished Owen ran to tell Aaron that he was a Christian. Megan heard what he was saying and she came to tell me that she too wanted to pray to receive Jesus. In her own words, Megan spoke to God as I held my arms around her. After she finished she said that she wanted to be baptised. What a joyful night!
     Friday, August 5, we celebrated the VBS week with a program at the church. Amy Tinman presented a very clear gospel message. It was an answer to pray and a highlight of my week. We celebrated Aaron's 38th birthday by singing to him in Johnson Hall. 
     Saturday, August 6, we had a Jamaican Pool Party at the Buck residence. Jay and Liz were visiting from England, which is always a reason for celebration. Rain pushed the party inside, but a good time was still had by all.
     Sunday, August 7, we were voted on and accepted as new members at the Crosswalk Community Church. We attended our first annual church meeting as voting members. We are excited to be a part of such a faithful church. 

Lucky Days Weekend 2011

Jaime and I met Stacy Jensen and her boyfriend Josh for lunch in the Pig Pen.

We met up with Stacy and Dena Saturday night. Blast from the past!

The girls and I were in the parade on Sunday for Steps Studio

Stella found a few bucks in the sawdust pile.


Sunday evening we had dinner and enjoyed a Gospel band at Skonewood with Ryan and Camilla's family. The kids ran around and played like crazy, we played a little sand volleyball and checked out the cute little chapel on top of the hill. I told the girls that I would like at least one of them to get married there. If they can't grant me that wish, they could at least have a few of their photographs taken on the hills with their white veils blowing in the wind. I will talk with our family photographer about the details. 


We finished the night with smores and a campfire. 

Memorial dinner for Uncle Ray

 Aunt Lois hosted a memorial dinner to remember the life of Raymond Kirk. It was a nice afternoon of visiting and telling stories to honor his memory. There were a lot of details that I never knew about Uncle Ray. 

It was a beautiful breezy day by the lake.

 Of course Owen found a stick to play with. He finds a stick, or makes one, no matter where we are.

Megan and Owen enjoyed playing in the lake while the adults reminisced. 

Grandma Debbie comes home for a visit

We don't get to spend a lot of time with Grandma Debbie, but when she comes to town she makes the short visits memorable. We crammed a lot of activity into Owen's Birthday Weekend with Grandma D. First of all, she shipped a huge mystery box to Grandpa Warren for Owen to open. The largest box he has ever opened for sure. 

So, this is what was inside...


One month later, the kids are still driving it no less than ten times a day. Definitely an unforgettable 4th Birthday gift!   After taking some time to enjoy the new "razor" we were off to Mall of America to enjoy the day.

Megan and Owen loved the "Little Hopper"

We had to have a Sponge Bob photo-op. Emily was along on this adventure, she just didn't want her picture taken all day long.

Owen wanted to capture the moment with this giant shrimp.

We had a great lunch at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., and then hit the rides again . We finally arrived home with overtired kids and Grandma about 11 p.m. The next day we caught a matinee movie in Siren. Grandma Deb bought all of the girls, including me, matching "bling" flip-flops at the General Store. Thank you Grandma! We enjoyed dinner at Long Lake that evening with a delicious meal prepared by Aunt Carol. It was  a wonderful weekend.  We look forward to our next set of adventures with Grandma Debbie.

Owen turns 4! July 10, 2011

A hot week and a huge milestone, Owen's 4th birthday! We had a great day celebrating with a Transformers Party at Long Lake. It is so hard for me to believe that four years have flown by since our little sweetheart was born. I love to relive the details of my children's birth on their birthday. The moment Owen was born was such an amazing event in my life. After two girls, I never imagined the immense joy a little boy could bring to our family. He was loved and prayed for long before we came face to face, but the moment I laid eyes on him that growing bond swelled beyond words. Instantly, he was a piece of our puzzle that I never knew was missing, and I knew that I never wanted to spend a day without him in my life on earth or in heaven. In his four years, he has given us countless laughs, hugs, kisses, and snuggles. We are so thankful that God has given us this little boy, and entrusted us with the privilege of raising him.

4th of July Weekend 2011

Chelsea had all of the kids playing games in the pool.

Grandma Lo-Lo made a guest appearance.

Rori snuggled with Chelsea.

What a weekend! Friday we were able to spend the day at the Bucks with friends. Tanner finally had his Pic removed after a long three weeks of iv medications followed by an allergic reaction, and he was ready to swim with his buds. We are so thankful that the doctors were able to figure out what was causing his high fevers and treat him accordingly. Thursday and Friday temps were in the high 90's. We were actually sweating in the pool. Julie turned the pool heater off because it was too warm. Fun day with some of my favorite people to hang with!

Friday night we had planned to go to Long Lake and set up our tent. Instead, the storm clouds rolled in around dinner time and we spent a couple hours without electricity giggling on our bed with all of the kids being silly. We lit candles and waited for the air conditioning and lights to return. Bill Chivers text Aaron to let him know there was a bad storm in Grantsburg and our hunting shack may have been hit. Aaron jumped up and decided to head out to the shack to have a look. I didn't want to stay home in the dark alone with the kids, and Aaron was pretty sure that the storm was over, so the kids and I rode with. As we were leaving, the power came back on. As we turned off of B and on to 87, we soon began to see the devastation from the straight line winds. Trees were down around many homes, and on top of some. A few roads were difficult to get through, but we were able to keep going. As we made our way down O, we could see flashing lights up ahead. Not something you see in the Barrens very often. As we got closer, I could see that it was a cop car, and it was approaching our vehicle. He told Aaron that there was another storm front moving in and we needed to get out of the area. When I heard him say 70 mph winds, my heart sunk. I glanced at the three little faces in the back seat and had a little meltdown. I'm not prepared to lose another one of them and panic set in without warning. Aaron wasted no time getting to the cabin. As we approached the gate we could see a few larger trees covering the driveway, but nothing we couldn't negotiate around. We sped up the driveway and Aaron ran to the door and worked ferociously to get in. We ran in as the rain poured down around our worried faces. Aaron calmly lit some lanterns and started the generator. He was sure that we were in a safe sturdy structure and would be fine inside as long as we needed to be. The kids and I sat down on the couch, prayed for safety, and thanked God for our lives. We started to calm down, and Aaron was able to find a news station with a weather update. After about 90 minutes, we felt okay to set out for home. We tried to take Pleasant Valley Road over to Evergreen. We have both drove the road hundreds of times as it led to my family cabin. The road was unrecognizable. Trees were down about every 50 feet. We had to drive in the ditch most of the way, weaving in and out of trees and limbs. A few of the limbs that we had to drive under were questionable and I feared that they would fall on our car. I just tried to be quiet and pray as Aaron drove. The kids were wide eyed as we made our way slowly down the path. Finally we could see flashing lights ahead of us. As we approached the lights we realized it was a truck of lineman from the utility company. They wanted to know if we had seen any lines down on our way. We hadn't. They thanked us and we turned on to Evergreen, which was free from disaster, and the rest of our way home was smooth and uneventful. I don't think any of us will soon forget this night.

Our hearts go out to all of those who were affected by the storm. Grantsburg and the surrounding area suffered devastating damage and even death. We were so sad to hear about the death of an 11-year-old girl who was killed when a tree fell on her tent. Aaron and I both felt sick for this family who we have never even met. Our minds quickly jump back to those early weeks of raw grief after losing Drew, and we just mourn for the days and months that the family of this little girl has ahead of them. We pray for God to surround them and hold them as they grieve their precious child. Every death we face jolts us back to the realty that we don't know how long any of us have on this earth. We need to keep our eyes on Christ, and remain focused on leading our children to living lives for him. In the end, nothing else matters.

Meg and her best friend Kylie Buck at the lake.

Owen told me he wanted to play Codfish. He was really saying caught fish. I had to put him in the hammock and pretend that I had caught him in a net.

Amanda tried to take Owen for a ride on her paddle board, but he was a little bit scared a quickly got off.

Owen loved the fireworks, even though they gave me a little anxiety...